Sunny People

Some people are so much sunshine to the square inch. — Walt Whitman

Lucy Petroucheva
May 01, 2025

The cliché is true: what you pay attention to grows.

I think about this a lot because I know my defaults. I’m kind of a pensive person—drawn to deep conversations, wrestling with the weight of it all, contemplating the mystery of time, and life, and death.

And I think about this a lot because, in the last few years, my life has been transformed by sunny people.

I hope you know who I mean.¹ People who sort of habitually look on the bright side. Who have space in their day/mind/attention span to read and think and be responsive to friends. Who are on time. Who never talk about people as inherently bad. Who know how to set a mood and have a good time. Who have lots of close friends. Whose bodies are nourished and exercised and pumping. Who are wise enough to live lightly.²

I’m obsessed with sunny people because among them I have hope—for myself, and for all people.

These artifacts remind me of sunnies:

1. Quote by Anne Sophie Swetchine

When I first read this quote, I thought that I was learning how to influence others: show, don’t tell.

Later, I realized that I was learning something more healing: it is I who am changed by experiencing positive examples, not by analyzing my shortcomings.

I noticed that, in low moments, what truly helped was calling to mind specific friends and families who live really well—not their accomplishments, highlight reel, or life-on-paper, but their moment-to-moment energy. And their particular ways of moving through the world: what they did when they woke up, how they cared for their homes, how they responded to setbacks, how they spoke about their lives.

Just imagining them shifted my sense of what’s possible (it didn’t even matter if the image was real). Imagining them gave me energy, ideas, hope. And being around them felt like a direct upgrade to my mental programming.

There’s something profoundly influential about seeing someone live a healthy life. Seeing that they live it—and how. I’m convinced that, as social creatures who mirror what we see, we need living examples of health. And I’m convinced that one of the best things we can do for others is to be a model of health—so that in our presence, they may feel calm, safe, light, and have proof (when they need it) that these feelings are possible.

2. Video by Tim Ferriss and Kevin Kelly

Kevin Kelly makes a clean case for optimism:

Failure is more likely than success. In complex systems, there are more ways for things to go wrong than to go right. Left to itself, a system drifts toward disorder.
Optimism is resisting what’s likely. It’s the deliberate work of imagining the improbably good scenario and believing it can be brought to fruition.
Optimism is essential for building good, complicated things. The improbably good scenarios require intentional vision and effort.
Optimism is how we shape the future. Without it, we surrender to entropy. With it, we make space for the improbable to become real.

So: We should be as optimistic as we can. (Even if pessimism is easier.)

3. Video by John Green

I often remember this video where John Green explains how this quote helped reshape his relationship with depression:

“In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. For years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.”

He said elsewhere:

It has taken me all my life up to now to fall in love with the world, but I've started to feel it the last couple of years. To fall in love with the world isn't to ignore or overlook suffering, both human and otherwise. For me anyway, to fall in love with the world is to look up at the night sky and feel your mind swim before the beauty and the distance of the stars. It is to hold your children while they cry, to watch as the sycamore trees leaf out in June. When my breastbone starts to hurt, and my throat tightens, and tears well in my eyes, I want to look away from the feeling. I want to deflect with irony, or anything else that will keep me from feeling directly. We all know how loving ends. But I want to fall in love with the world anyway, to let it crack me open. I want to feel what there is to feel while I am here.

4. Poem by Ha Jin

How dreamy: to be free from the need to untangle every thought, or document every lesson out of fear that it’ll disappear. To be be satisfied by the light of loved ones.

5. The practice of Hygge

One afternoon at Barnes & Noble, I picked up The Little Book of Hygge, snapped the picture below, and wrote down every single phrase that resonated with me. Hygge—a Danish word for a mood of coziness, warm connection, and a sense of contentment—is all about setting the conditions for (de)light. 🙂

Good luck reading this list without feeling cozier!

bright, hug, embrace, well-being, comfort, togetherness, the art of creating intimacy, cozy, pleasure, soothing, candlelight, safe, let guard down, cup of tea, silent, warm, sunset, fire, half-asleep, big sweaters, woolen socks, stew boiling, cafes, calm, peaceful, bakeries, good book, organic, softness of light, dinner party, blanket, soulful, warm colors, good food on the table, group of good friends, hominess, feeling of community, authenticity, chitchat, heart-warming, chocolate, cookies, cakes, gratitude, shelter, natural, cabin, breathe in air, enthusiasm for everything, snug, relaxed thoughtfulness, down-to-earth, be completely yourself, hand on shoulder, kiss on cheek, trust, love, fullness, neighborliness, belonging, being understood, soothing music, hearty, freshly baked, board games, holidays, cooking, casual, layers of clothes, big comfy chairs, wood, books, nook, romance, good company and conversation, simple, slow, savoring the present moment, plants, movie night, tea party, BBQs, fresh bed sheets, camping, picnic, star hazing, humble, ambiance, primitive, tangibility, weekly viewings of a TV show, greeting, gathered in a close circle, outdoor movies, final Fridays, fun and play, leisure, bonfires, lazy afternoon, bubble tea, live music, farmers market, cheerful, family coming together, traditions, presents, poetry, emotional wellbeing, collective sighs of relief, bread, smiling, knitting, doing things with your hands, fruit picking, strawberries, cherries, watermelon, doing favors, biking, local, rain, trees, creaks of wood, security, aromas, homemade, gentle, go with your gut, unguarded, network to rely on, savoring, bond, forgiving, reminisce, laughing, sensory, small conveniences, charcuterie, grounded, long walks, hand-written cards, screen free, wellness

“Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Keep it light ✌🏼
Lucy

I have to show you one of the sunniest people I’ve ever known: Maren. 💛 I really do think she’s good all the way through. Look at how sunny she is!! And how we spend time together: fresh meals, grass and trees, parties, and tea by candlelight!!!

When I read this poem, I instantly thought of Mare 🌼

It
Is not easy
To stop thinking ill
Of others.

Usually one must enter into a friendship
With a person

Who has accomplished that great feat himself. Then

Something
Might start to rub off on you
Of that

True
Elegance

— Hafiz

Pascal Campion

1 Think Sam from The Lord of the Rings. Or Ted Lasso. Or Fred Rogers. This isn’t a perfect science, but here are some patterns I see in sunnies (table below).

2 But not without depth. It’s easy to assume that sunny people are light because they live on the surface of things. For me, that judgement was a defense mechanism—a way to justify my own seriousness and angst. Now, I think that honoring the gravity of life often means living with less gravity.

optimistic and positive sort of chronically look on the bright side. sort of habitually situated in gratitude. exude brightness. tell positive stories of their life and the lives of others. take positive interpretations at every turn	light they’ve set the conditions to nourish themselves, fill their cup, and approach life from that spacious place. they’re not too serious and seem to not have much pent up inside. seem to have an uncomplicated relationship with life	joyful in the ordinary they know how to set a mood, enjoy themselves, indulge in pleasure. they’re cheerful and playful. they’re grounded in wholesome things like a love of gardening, cooking, painting, songs, stories, flowers, friendship
non-judgmental have a loving stance toward people, make generous interpretations, don’t talk badly about others (not denying the hard parts of people, but contextualizing the bad in an environment, a set of pressures, an upbringing)	non-defensive have self-confidence but low-ego—they’re humble and emotionally regulated enough to not get threatened by new information, by a difference of opinion, by knowing less. they're sort of pure in that you don't feel they're operating from pride or self-protection	connected are supported by lots of people in genuine ways. are comfortable in their own skin with different types of people and have a variety of friends. prioritize warmth and relationship-building over being right
organized and structured have processes that yield their reliability and accountability. their time is spent in ways that are aligned with who they are. they’re on time. they reset their house frequently :)	healthy holistically they run, or bike, or garden, or host dinner parties. their physicality enables their presence. they regularly lotion their bodies!